Immaculate Conception

by I.J. Miller

This book was provided to me for free by the author in exchange for an honest review. 

Physically abused Alice meets mentally abused Maddie and the two of them deicide getting a child and giving it all the love in the world.

Tbh at the beginning I absolutely didn’t get into the story. It all starts in a cheap motel room where Maddie and Alice try to protect their Babyboy Jesse from the police who have already surrounded the motel they are in.

The scene is the told form Maddie’s, Alice’s and the Police officer’s point of view, but for me it somehow felt like a simple description of what everyone is doing since I didn’t get any feelings.

Every other chapter in the first part is alternately about Al’s or Maddie’s childhood. So between the scenes in the motel-room we get to know about Al’s dad who started abusing Al when she was 8 years old and how she experienced her teenage years. And Maddie’s childhood and teenage years with a mother who mentally abused her and at the same time made Maddie through autoaggressive acts to stay with her. Yet although both stories are really horrible and you get kind of goosebumps while reading, something was missing. It’s hard to describe but I was reading through these chapters, thinking ‘how awful’ but didn’t feel sad for one of the girls or angry with one of the parents.

Then the second part starts and it’s all about Maddie and Al getting to know each other. That was the moment I slowly started getting into the story. But still didn’t feel with or for Maddie or Al but for Wynn, a Canadian student who saved Al from a bunch of his mates and whose career as an athlete comes to an abrupt end through a car accident. Al later marries him – still out of thankfulness for rescuing her – so that he doesn’t have to go back to Canada. Later Al also gets his sperm so that she and Maddy can have their baby.

And that leads us to part three – Maddie’s and Al’s escape from their baby’s daddy and rich grandpa who wants to have custody. Now the story really had me. I got Al’s feelings, I got Maddy’s feelings and I felt with them, I hoped with them, I feared for them through their whole journey through the states till they see the skyline of New York.

Through this chapter you see parallels between Al and Maddie’s mum – both women want to rule over Maddie. But Maddie has her baby boy now who she has to protect – Will she manage to escape another person who tries to influence her and make her own decisions or will she do whatever Al demands even if it meant killing her and the baby?

The Rent Mate

By Ash Penn

This book was provided to me for free by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Wow… Just wow.

I have to admit that when I read the plot the first time I wasn’t quite sure if it was the right book for me. I actually don’t like reading about abuse or other serious topics in entertaining literature. So I was kind of afraid that there would be some romanticism of real serious problems. But this wasn’t the case.

This book is just awesome. I loved both Martin and Liam much.

Martin is a cynical character who can’t or better won’t show any feelings because he thinks that he isn’t worth being loved. He is blaming himself for an accident that actually wasn’t his fault. But he thinks it was and wants to make up for it. So he needs money. A lot of money, more than 1,000 dollars per month. And selling his own body – or better Button’s Body, not his, because Martin is never there when he is doing this – is the easiest way of getting all the money he needs. But he can’t tell anybody what he needs the money for because this would mean revealing the big secret and he can’t do that because everybody who got to know it would hate him. And most of all he can’t tell Liam about this one thing, because then Liam would hate him, wouldn’t he? And he mustn’t hate him. So Martin keeps pushing Liam away constantly, because not being liked from the beginning is better than for being hated for what he did…

I think that Martin’s (Button’s) character is really well developed and convincing. Martin became a cynical young man who tries to hide all his fears and uncertainty behind a wall of cynical und humorous statements. And this runs through the whole story. Whatever happens to Martin, he doesn’t show any feelings. Some may state now that this isn’t likeable, but it is what Martin became through his abusive past, that is why he created Button who adores every man who he is with and it is what makes Liam special. Because he looks through the mask and therefore doesn’t give up on Martin.

Spoiler alert: And although Martin, yeah Martin, not Button even dumps Liam for a rich pervert who wants Button exclusively Liam doesn’t give up and finally breaks through this hard skin and gets to know Martin’s story and the truth of his past. And guess what… he doesn’t dump him. *lol*

The character of Martin (Button) was so well described that I really felt with him. It’s hard to describe but whenever the story was told out of Martin’s view it was like the world around me had lost its color… I mean I didn’t feel hopeless because there was Liam and as long as Liam didn’t give up, there was hope… but I felt this heavy weight on my heart. There were several parts where I really had difficulties fighting back my tears.

A shame that the book had to end… I would have loved reading about Martin and Liam in their new life with a HEA. ?